Wednesday, May 16, 2012

"The Forest Oracle": The Best ENWorld Thread Ever

Sit back, pour yourself a glass, and try to read this without laughing out loud. Full disclosure: I was one of the perpetrators. Some guy named Monte butts in half-way through and he's such a wet blanket about it. The mayhem precipitated this thread, which also has its moments, including this encounter I wrote:

Encounter 19

Concession Stand

After defeating the dorm giants in Encounter 16 and passing through the door that provides egress from the cavernous chamber, the PCs will find a 10' passageway impregnated with the smell of some kind of tasty food. On a roll of 1-2 on a d6, sizzling noises and a faint orange glow shall be noticed by the PCs.

Thirty feet along the passageway, on the left as you face north, is a window cut into the stone that reveals a small area expressly designed for the preparation and serving of food. Behind the window are 4d100+1 kobolds (double this number for adventuring parties above 1st level). The small goblinoids are cooking and selling hamburgers for 10 gp each. Although tempting, these small round patties of meat placed between two half-oblate spheroids of ground wheat flour are actually a trap.

An enterprising troll has quaffed a protection from fire potion and hurled itself into a meat grinder after hiring the kobolds to cook its flesh and sell it to passing adventurers. 1d2 half-hours after ingesting a hamburger, a PC will begin to feel abdominal pain as the troll regenerates inside his stomach and bursts out through his chest 2d6 rounds later, inflicting 1d6 damage. The troll then steals a random magic item and 200 gp from the PC and returns to the meat grinder by the shortest route.


  1. My only quibble is you and your cohorts created much more interesting encounters than the original author.

    1. Thanks, I love to revisit this thread every year or so and laugh myself silly.


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